Friday, January 17, 2014

1d8 Quacks: Questionable Medical Specialists from Wermspittle


A quack doctor can kill you without a knife...
Unknown

Eight Quacks (1d8)
  1. Sirondas Balthazaon. Short, hairy, twitchy-fingered; he looks like a shaved weasel in a not terribly convincing man-suit. His specialty is colorful elixirs that can cure baldness, impotence, even diarrhea, at least for 3d4 hours, after which time the symptoms or complaints come back, often doubled. His prices are one-third the going rates. He rarely stays in one place more than 1d4 hours. Just enough to stay ahead of the Constables of the Red Watch, his creditors, and his previous customers.
    Sirondas (Escaped Hybrid, Expert Lvl 4) [AL N, MV 30', AC 6 (Lesser Showman's Vest), HD 4 (24 hp), #AT 1 (Verbal/Acid), DG Save or Baffled (1d4 Turns)/3d4 per Turn for 1d4 Turns (Save for Half Effect), SV F4, ML 6. Special: Pronounced musky body odor repels werms (as Protection From Werms in 20' radius). Travels about with a push-cart loaded with bottles, flasks and jars of various elixirs. Not on the best terms with the local authorities since he falsely framed an Almas Glandculler for one of his less fortunate failures in producing a cure for Scarlet Plague. Claims to be half-Pruztian, on his mother's side, but that's probably a lie, despite his carrying a Pruztian Five-Pence Piece that he claims is a 'family heirloom.' Has no identification papers, licenses, permits nor even a diploma.]

  2. Mak Dallarak. Tall, thin and cadaverous, Master Dallarak is quite proud of his (alleged) Nagrothean heritage, and tries his best to keep up appearances, despite the connection being extremely tenuous, and possibly spurious. He wears only dark green, prefers velvet frock coats, and requires corrective lenses when trying to read anything of a sorcerous nature due to a lingering curse inherited from his great-grandmother whom he claims fought in the Midwives' Rebellion. He specializes in peculiar unguents and salves, balms and ointments concocted by hand from traditional materials based upon a secret compendium of recipes bequeathed to him by his aforementioned grandmother. No one has ever seen the book. But he does get his formulas from somewhere.
    Master Dallarak (Simulacrum, Expert Lvl 3) [AL C, MV 30', AC 5 (Armor-Paneled Long-Coat), HD 3 (18 hp), #AT 1 (Talons or bludgeon), DG 1d4x2 (treat as +2 weapons, affect immaterial)/1d4+2, SV F3, ML 8. Special: Untrained Oneirical talent: Reads his recipes in a dream-book. He replaced the actual Mak Dallarak years ago, during a particularly harsh winter, and has been regretting it ever since. Suffers 1d4 damage per Round if exposed to a silver mirror. (His crossing-over was incomplete, his Replacement rite only 'just' worked. The actual Mak Dallarak survived the Transition and may be attempting to undo the swap.) He can concoct just about any sort of salve, if the customer can clearly articulate what effect they are after; sometimes these formulations require exotic ingredients or other esoteric factors will make the process more difficult or costly.]

  3. Drushma-mama. Heavily cloaked and over-dressed in too many layers, even in Summer, Drushma-mama is always complaining about the cold. She piles her dishwater-gray hair into elaborate coiffures inspired by the cranial topiaries she remembers seeing among the decorative slaves kept on the underestate of her bond-cousins in Aman Utal. Her bloodline was declared unfit and cast out while she was still in training to become a Noblewoman's Confidential Concierge. Now she peddles disgusting fungal broths and mold-brews to the Refugees and Wrertched, the Afflicted and Outcast in the shanty-camps along the Low Streets.
    Drushma-mama (Lowborn Half-Morlock, Expert Lvl 5) [AL C, MV 30', AC 4 (Layered Clothes, Ring of Defense +3), HD 5 (48 hp), #AT 1 (bite), DG 1d4, SV F5, ML 10. Casts spells at 3rd level ability. (Spells per day: 2,1), Spells Known: Cure/Cause Light Wounds, Detect Malady, Remove/Instill Fear, Charm/Repulse Person, Charnel BreathVile Residue, Rat's Teeth. Special: She is in communication with a pair of Lesser Nosferatus with whom she has been bartering favors for spells. She also possesses a scroll of Dirt to Meat, but it is above her current level, and she very much wants to gain the ability to cast it before winter. Drushma-mama has an encyclopedic knowledge of fungi, molds and slimes. Jelly-hunters come to her often, both to barter, and to identify newfound blobs. She can call on 2d4 Feral Children, Jelly-Hunters, Foragers or Morlocks to come to her aid once per day.]

  4. Ulin-Kala. She lost her face to an accident with her former mentor's ectography chemicals. The mask she wears came from a boarded-over shop in the Burned Over District. If you bring her foam-ivory or oneiroplasm, she'll craft something unique and special just for you. She's talented that way. A real Prodigy. Her people, nomads from the Western Plateaus, traded her to the Ectographer three summers ago. She's never forgiven any of them. She is gaining a reputation for how she mixes-up Dim Ichor, Black Liquors, and other things into non-damaging cocktails that sometimes have a positive effect. People flock to her in hopes of convincing her to mix them a drink, and most ignore her trinkets, which frustrates her to no end. What no one realizes yet, is that her emotional state has a direct and immediate effect on the drinks she mixes-up...
    Ulin-Kala (Abandoned Plateau-Nomad, Expert Lvl 3) [AL C, MV 30', AC 4 (Layered Clothes, Ring of Defense +3), HD 5 (48 hp), #AT 1 (Staff), DG 1d6, SV F3, ML 8. Special: Intuitive Detritus-Sculptor. Has base 30% chance to temporarily animate or awaken her sculptures, trinkets or toys. Can cast Cause/Cure Light Wounds (only for lesser mechanisms/contraptions) twice a day. She also has the innate ability to Transmute Liquids on touch.]

  5. Borsk Halij. The Mostly-Proportionate. Born to a family of Wretches, Borsk ran away from the Circus and apprenticed to a Distiller who taught him about that aspect of the Corruption Trade. He was dismissed when he let the still explode. He tried to be a Forager (got his crew killed), a Scavenger (collapsed a building on his team), and Pit Fighter (accidentally killed his trainer), but none of that worked out for him. Now he steals rusty old barrels and containers of unlabeled Spectral Brine and uses it to fill whatever bottles or containers he can dig out of the local rubbish-heaps. Even he isn't sure what all is in these bottles, he just works with what he has available, and every one is unique.
    Borsk-Halaj (Wretched, Expert Lvl 4) [AL C, MV 20', AC 5 (Half-Chain and Hide), HD 4 (17 hp), #AT 2 (Fists), DG 1d6+3 (STR), SV F4, ML 8. Special: Gains +3 Bonus on all Saves. Can attempt to Save versus any/all poisons, toxins, and venoms. CHAR 4, STR 18. Heals at double normal rate.]

  6. Jeeva. Downy-haired acupuncturess from Kathru-Val. She grinds-down various unsavory trimmings and dried herbs into noxious-smelling powders that she foists upon the unsuspecting and gullible as medicinal teas. Most of her 'brews' tend to be harmless, if terribly disgusting. However, she recently tried using some dried worms in one of her 'teas,' and it has caused quite a sensation among her customers who swear the stuff cures the Grey Pox. It's only a matter of time before she runs afoul of the Medical Establishment. Her workshop has been ransacked three times this week. She could use some protection and a little advice. But the local Nest-Mothers will have nothing to do with her since she lacks all spell-casting ability. Perhaps she can convince Hedrard at the Academy to give her a few minutes of her time...
    Jeeva (Strixin, Expert Lvl 2) [AL C, MV 20', AC 6 (Greaves, Bracers, Girdle), HD 2 (9 hp), #AT 2 (claws), DG 1d4/1d4), SV F2, ML 6. Special: Has not achieved adulthood, and thus remains wing-less. Suffers -4 Reaction roll with all Harpy-related beings.]

  7. Dralik Mozirre. The Graft-Master of Garlondire. Fat, sweaty, smells of peculiar cheese and strange chemicals. Has been observed eating moth balls. Likes to stay in the shade, mostly operates at night. The local gang of Feral Children stole his pale yellow-satin mask. All his fingers move like sentient jelly, which makes sense; Dralik died last winter. There's a Mucoid inhabiting his not-so-well preserved corpse. The Mucoid makes sure that there's a little piece of itself in every grafting it sells to the wounded, injured and crippled who come to it for help.
    Not-Dralik (Grood Cadaver-Shell) [AL N, MV 30', AC 6 (Square-Studded Leather), HD 5 (21 hp), #AT 2 (Fists), DG 1d4/1d4, SV F2, ML n/a. Special: Hollowed-out cadaver-shell, used as a disguise and vehicle for Mucoid. Must make a Save each day or suffer permanent 1d4 damage. Upon reaching zero HP, the cadaver-shell becomes an inoperative, putrid mess of rotting tissue.]

    Silisisi'ak (Mucoid, Expert Lvl 5) [AL C, MV 10', AC 7 (Mucous-sheath), HD 5 (31 hp), #AT 2 (Sting or spells), DG 1d4/1d4 or by spell), SV MU5, ML 9/4 (if cadaver-shell is breached). Spell-Use: Spells per day: 2,2,1. Spells Known: First Level: Cause/Cure Light Wounds, Staunch Bleeding, Cause/Remove Fear, Resist Cold/Heat, Charm Person, Protection From Vertebrates, Sleep. Second Level: Hold Person, Speak with Molds, Continual Haze, ESP, Web (Mucous). Third Level: Animate Dead, Cause Disease, Protection From Firearms. Special: Regenerates 1 HP each Turn, unless exposed to salt, fire or acid.]

  8. Ruthiko. The Leech-Monger. Short, broad-hipped Urushian dowager who openly wears the green and blue checkered-pattern of the Usurper, mostly to cover-up the increasingly obvious mauve spots and splotches spreading across her face and hands. If you watch closely, you can sometimes see things writhe and move about beneath her skin. She sells a wide variety of leeches collected from various cellar-swamps, fountain-pools, cisterns, even the Low Marshes. Every leech is selected for its specific medicinal uses and murderous application.
    Ruthiko (Leech-host, Expert Lvl 6) [AL C, MV 20', AC 6 (Greaves, Bracers, Girdle), HD 6 (38 hp), #AT 1 (Vomit Leeches or Blood-drain), DG (see below) or 1d6 per round if Attached (rolls 19 or 20 To Hit), SV MU6, ML 9. Special: Can use Vomit Leeches up to three times per day. She also Commands Leeches as a Cleric of 6th Level (as per Turning table, swap leeches for undead). She also has a form of ESP that applies only to Leeches. Even when coerced by spells, Leeches will not attack her. Vomit Leeches produces a stream of 3d6 large, wriggly leeches with a range of 12'. Each leech has 1d4 HP, does 1 HP damage (+1d6 blood drain on a roll of 19 or 20 to hit), is AC 9, and takes double damage from fire attacks.]

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