Monday, June 29, 2015

Caprichographika (Wermspittle)

Some of the more whimsically-malicious forms of degenerate art, Caprichogrphika are a critically-debased and esoterically-scatalogical assault on the innumerable foibles, follies and foolishness to be found in any of the three civilized societies, as well as from the lingering scientific prejudices, deceitful practices, and blind adherence to outmoded industrial doctrines that customs, ignorance and entrenched self-interest have made dominant forces in the wake of the devastation brought about in the last war.

Most take the form of editorial cartoons, but a surprising number also show up in the form of etchings and graven images printed upon paper manufactured from the sweepings from Killing Floors and using crude, sepia-like inks derived from the offal, leavings, blood and filth likewise gathered in the aftermath of the Butcher's trade. Each is deeply impressed with the lingering echoes of slaughter and are reputed to attract buzzing swarms of Gebrochengeists or even demons.

If the image you have discovered has a more grayish cast to it or perhaps a distinct black edging, if is more likely to be a  Graven Image which is a more specialized form of Caprichographika once popular in Nagrothea and crafted from ground-up funeral cerements, shrouds, and the ashes of the cremated dead, often plague victims, orphans or the unclaimed. These things tend to be more toxic on the whole and should never be left lying around loose, especially near the sleeping or recently deceased as it may well prove significantly detrimental. Take this editor's advice and sell any such Graven Images as you might come into possession of to either a reputable Resurrectionist, a representative from the Barrow Makers and Mound Builders Mutual Indemnity & Welfare League, or even a Metempsychotic if you cannot locate someone more pleasant with whom to make the exchange. Fantomists may also express an interest in your recent find, so perhaps you can negotiate some sort of arrangement with them if you are so inclined, but you'd best act quickly before drawing the ire of the Undertakers. I have been told that there is a lively trade in these sorts of things among certain of the patrons who frequent The Tall Man, a dingy little rathskellar near Skrimm Street.

Yellow Kids will sometimes attempt to slip a Caprichographika into the paper, tabloid or nickel-dreadful of those customers who forget to tip the little scamps. Usually this is only a minor nuisance. In those instances where things escalate well past that stage, it sometimes helps to engage the services of a Necro-Mesmerist or licensed Karcist, certified Phantasmalist, bonded Geisterbeschw√∂rer or similar specialist in such phenomena. You will want to attend to matters sooner, rather than later, before attracting a Fantodic, Hasnamuss, or poltergeist. Myself, I prefer to just over-tip the little bastards and avoid the unpleasantness altogether. It is also the policy of our publisher to feed any unsolicited Caprichographika that comes into the offices to an Ordrang that is kept penned-up in the basement near the incinerator, boiler and generators. We used to bundle the things and sell them wholesale to a group of ungezeifers, but after their third cheque was refused by the bank, we stopped dealing with them entirely.

Lastly, it is never a good idea to fall asleep near one of these foul bits of compressed phantasmal debris and offal. Doing so leaves one vulnerable to all manner of nightmares, highly negatively-charged psychic impressions, and the lingering echoes of fear, pain and death. Your health will suffer. Your sanity will erode. Your life will be in peril, eventually. And while it is tempting to burn these things, this only releases the pent-up psychic filth contained within them, often with explosive repercussions...


  1. Always cool to see more Wermspittle stuff.

    1. There's more on the way. I recently had the opportunity to pore over another of Windsor McKay's collections of drawings and in particular inspired the visual look of the fellow above.

  2. This reads like a page from a truly weird publication, and with a very Wermy tone. It's a clever way to show the world and present the grimy nitty-gritty of the workings, along with plenty of mood, and sharply written as well.

    1. Glad you liked it. I plan on adding-on a table or three for this piece once it gets collected. I also wanted to demonstrate a type of thing that could spark any number of encounters, situations, plot-hooks, escalations of conflict, etc., etc. just by simply falling into the wrong/right hands.

      Political cartoons and post-cards as geist/demon-magnets and festering centers of pestilence that can spark all manner of interesting, if often negative, repercussions...


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